


In Touch

by Batgirl_xcv



Category: Actor RPF, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Smut, Mutual Pining, Old Friends, RPF, Sexual Tension, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batgirl_xcv/pseuds/Batgirl_xcv
Summary: Chris has spent the majority of the last year isolating in peace away from the chaos of the world. But, even self confessed hermits get lonely. A year out of touch with not just the world, but those he called good friends makes the first step getting back in touch just that bit harder. But once you're there, you can breathe and you might just find it's everything you need.
Relationships: Chris Evans & Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans (Actor)/Steve Rogers, Chris Evans - Relationship, Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I write to cope therefore this is me coping with the state of the world. I may not finish everything I write (sorry) but if it makes the world a little more bearable and less messy I'll do anything to feel peace. Hence this work, it's not perfect but it's a source of enjoyment and calm. Obviously completely fictional, enjoy :)

Living in isolation for the majority of the year had suited Chris just fine. Despite lacking work and the freedom of life just months before he enjoyed the solitude, so living in his secluded home, seeing minimal people had been a dream; all of the anxiety from the last decade replaced with inner peace and calm, his mind at rest, well, _most_ of the time. The festive season had been a quiet one to say the least, the usual Evans family chaos replaced with the soft tapping of Dodgers paws on the wooden floors and music quietly floating through the rooms. His brother Scott provided the main source of any social interaction, and the occasional delivery driver. Having his brother around coaxed him out of his hermit self, reminiscing and spending time they hadn't together since their teens, watching old cartoons and playing video games. There’s nobody he’d rather spend an isolated holiday period with, well, maybe one person but that required actually speaking to anyone.

Laying on his bed, trusty canine asleep at his feet and snow falling blissfully outside Chris scrolls through his phone, something you could say had become quite the habit. The methodical motion of aimlessly scrolling was something he’d come to appreciate, not to mention falling into the depths of YouTube. But this, _this_ , was reason to pause everything, even breathe.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier trailer.

With a deep breath he sits up straighter much to the grunt of disapproval from Dodger, his slumber interrupted.

“Sorry bud.” Chris mumbles, petting the dogs head gently.

_Here goes._

Hands suddenly hot and clammy Chris presses play on the short video. His heart rate suddenly increases as the screen illuminates in front of him. Dodger gets up sensing the change, thinking it’s anxiety, when its more… well, arousal.

“Get down you goof!” Chris pats him away pausing the video before resuming, eyes glued to the screen.

At the end of the video he drops his phone down onto the pillow and with a soft thud it lands screen down. He scrubs his hand over his face harshly. _Fucking arm._ He thinks to himself as he awkwardly shifts position on his bed. Minutes pass as Chris sits in silence processing the video. He's no longer part of the infamous trio, he's no longer Steve with his Bucky, walking beside him, and Sam, confident, fearless. He’s being stupid he knows but the sudden void that’s opened in his chest leaves him feeling deflated. He’s not spoken to Sebastian or Anthony in weeks, months even. Maybe he’d enjoyed the solitude a little _too_ much. Sure he was being safe but a message wasn’t going to cause harm, well, not physically anyway.

A quiet knock sounds at his bedroom door breaking him out of his trance.

“Sure come in man.” He calls out, folding his arms over his chest awaiting his brothers presence.

Scott opens the door ajar, his eyes instantly going to Chris’ phone.

“It’s good bro. Really good.” He nods towards the phone.

Chris sighs looking up at his brother nodding slowly.

“They’ve done well considering all this shit. I had no idea which way they’d take it.” Chris shrugs half-heartedly.

“Seb looks well, Anthony too.” Scott smiles, Chris oblivious to the mischievous glint in his eye.

A pained expression flashes across Chris’ face, of course his brother noticing. “Yeah, they’ve trained well. Looks like a lot of stunts themselves.”

Scott rolls his eyes at his brothers flat response. “Short hair too I see. Looks kinda hot if you ask me.” he shrugs his shoulders.

“Scott..” Chris warns, shooting his brother a deathly stare.

Scott waves a hand closing the door behind him. Dodger instantly rests his head on Chris’ arm as this time he does correctly sense increased anxiety and emotion.

“What happened bud? What changed?” Chris sighs petting the dogs paw affectionately.

A couple of hours later, phone still in the same spot, Chris emerges into the living room, Scott is playing an old video game he’d hooked up to the speaker system. Upon sensing his brother he pauses.

“Sorry man.” He half smiles putting the controller down.

Chris shrugs as he joins the younger Evans on the couch. “Don’t be. I just – I’m not part of it anymore. They clearly know what they’re doing Scott, I’ll be fine. Is this two player?”

“You bet.” he hands his brother a controller playfully nudging his shoulder.

For now all that mattered was that he had to beat his brother.


	2. Chapter 2

Several days later Chris is quietly sitting at his piano staring at the notes when Scott appears behind him, not enough to make him scream like in the Instagram stories everyone had come to love but enough to make him hit the wrong note and jump on the spot, hand instantly grabbing his chest.

“Come on man that was nothing!” Scott laughs.

Chris rolls his eyes pushing his brother away.

“What's up?” He eyes his brother suspiciously.

“Nothing, you know, just making sure my big bro is okay. You’ve been quiet doing that thing where you go in your head. I see it.” Scott replies his brow furrowed.

Chris exhales weakly looking down focusing on the sharp contrast of the white and black keys. “I’m fine, I promise. Doesn't really feel like the holidays that's all. Mom said she missed us wrecking the place.”

Scott laughs softly. “You really want to spend every holiday season with us? I know we’re your family and all but..you ever think of anyone.. special?”

Chris fixes his brother a firm stare. “If that was the case you’d be the first one to know. So you know my answer.”

“I do, I do.. I’m just saying..” He trails off.

“Scott. I know okay, I know. You don’t need to say it.” Chris replies mildly irritated, his fingers itching to press the keys focusing solely on the sound.

“Say what? You have no idea what I’m going to say. Because for once I just want my brother to be happy, and yes I know you’re happy here in your cabin in the woods or whatever but everyone needs someone, friend or more. You know what I mean. Don’t cut yourself off from people who care about you.”

Chris sucks in a breath, turning back to the piano his fingers ghosting over the keys. His brother did know him. And he was right.

“What if I've changed Scott? What if I'm not the same person I was then?” He responds in a shaky voice, everyone knew he wore his heart on his sleeve, particularly around his family.

“Don't be stupid. You're still a meatball, just a little more.. reserved maybe. But you’re right here, you never left. I see it.” he half smiles.

Chris nods, playing a light note.

“I honestly don't even know how to start a conversation. The only ones I've held have been to do with work or interviews over the last, what, year? They could have spoken to me.”

His brother nods in understanding. “That’s true, but don’t forget everyone is going through this as well. You may be surprised.”

Chris sighs deeply. “I’ll think about it. I don’t – I don’t want to fuck up, again.”

“I understand, just think about it. I’m gonna take Dodger out in the yard, snows eased. You coming or am I gonna have to bring the snow to you?” the younger Evans grins wickedly.

Eyebrows raising to his hairline Chris turns around to face his brother. “Don’t you fucking dare Scott! Give me a minute I’ll get my shit together.”

Scott pats his brothers shoulder and leaves him in peace, Dodger eagerly trailing after.

Chris picks up his phone where he’d balanced it next to his music sheet, yeah sure he could have brought the music up on his phone but there was nothing like the feel of music sheets, everyone knew he was a little old school. He scrolls through his contacts, god it really had been a while he thinks seeing blurs of names scroll past as he searches for the one he's after.

He pauses over the empty message, his heart pounding in his ears. _God why was this so difficult._

_Hey man, I hope you’re well. You’ve worked hard._

Simple, polite… it would do. With that he drops his phone back down before heading to collect his snow gear otherwise Scott _would_ reappear and shove snow down his back, most likely for millions of people to see live on social media.

Returning inside a while later, frozen and red faced but feeling lighter than he had in days Chris heads straight for his room to shower and change, desperate for the feeling in his hands to return. As the steam rises in the shower the sensation of the warm spray hitting his frozen extremities is almost overwhelming; he stands with his back against the wall letting the water take over. He chuckles quietly to himself as the memory of Sebastian and him joking about cryofreeze fills his mind, Seb in his white vest. Instinctively, his right hand reaches down to rub himself ever so slightly but is halted before it can even make an effort at the thought of Sebastian potentially seeing.. _all_ of him after the unfortunate Instagram incident months prior takes away any hint of arousal, his hand dropping as soon as it started and he showers quickly.

Stepping back into his room, grateful for the warmth of the cabin he notices his phone thrown onto the middle of his bed, not where it had been when he left it. Nonetheless he picks it up, a message notification on his screen he was not expecting so soon, if at all.

Scott… the little shit.

Hands definitely regained sensation, his phone feeling like a tonne of lead, he swipes to open the message, anxiety preventing him from reading it first.

_Hey Chris, it’s been a while. Living up that cabin life I see, you said you wanted to live out there more I’m happy for you all things considered. I guess you’ve seen the trailer, I hoped you’d see it._

With one eye open he reads, re-reads and triple reads the message as though he’s dissecting a script or something. Not a simple text from an old friend.

_I hoped you’d see it._ What was that supposed to mean?

He exhales deeply, shoulders sinking, his phone screen lighting up his face as the message glares up at him. He checks the door is closed, for all his luck Scott is standing silently in the corner watching his reaction. Luckily, Scott is nowhere to be seen and the door is firmly shut.

_Thanks for getting back to me._

_No, that sounds pathetic_. He sighs inwardly to himself deleting the sentence.

_The cabin life really is for me, you know how much I hate busy cities. Just me and Dodger, well and Scott for now. The trailer was brilliant, you deserve the screen time man. I’ll be another one of those fanboys? Is that what they’re called? Either way I’m looking forward to seeing you._

He sends it before he’s proofread, and he _always_ proofreads.

_Seeing the show I mean, not you, well Bucky, and Sam. Oh! And Happy Holidays :)_

A smiley face… _such a fucking dumbass_. He thinks to himself as he throws the phone as far away on the bed as possible whilst he changes into fresh clothes.

Later that evening after another fantastic scare on his brother Chris is still feeling smug when he hears his phone ring from his room. Nobody ever calls… but his Mom. In a panic he drops the games controller and sprints to his room leaving Scott to continue, he’d get him back later. Grasping his phone the screen does indeed indicate a missed call but not his Mom. He feels heat rise up through his body, to the tips of his ears.

“Everything okay man? You gave Sonic a run for his money at that speed.” Scott jokes from where he’s followed his brother.

Swallowing thickly Chris turns around, holding his phone so tight his knuckles are white. “Yeah, no, I mean, yeah it’s all good. Not Mom or anything.”

Scott folds his arms over his chest leaning against the door-frame. “Call him back Chris. I’ll even go put my headphones on, go outside, whatever you want.”

“Scott..” Chris all but pleads.

Scott makes his way over to sit on the edge of the bed where his brother has backed himself up against the headboard. “I know Chris. I don’t know what he has to say but don’t fuck this up. You already nearly lost him once, I don’t know what happened with you guys but he’s a good guy and you know it.”

Chris just nods watching as his brother gets up quietly closing the bedroom door. He sits back against his bed spinning his phone between his fingers. Messaging was one thing but physically speaking was borderline too much. _Don’t fuck this up._ His brothers words replay in his mind as he swipes to call back. Time stands still as the monotonous call tone echoes around his head.

“Chris? You there?” A distanced yet familiar voice sounds somewhere between his phone and his brain.

Rubbing a hand over his face he sits up straight clearing his throat which felt as though it had constricted his breath. “Y-yeah, yeah I’m here.”

Seb laughs softly, a sound Chris had never forgotten but longed to hear.

“Sorry, I uh- Hey.” He coughs, his voice gravelly. _Use your words you meatball._

“You sure everything is okay there? I didn't mean to call if it was a bad time...” Seb trails off sounding unsure.

“No! No, it’s fine I just ran to my phone, out of breath.” Chris replies dumbly his brain incapable of forming a better response, and he wasn’t exactly lying.

“Out of breath? Okay old man.” Seb chuckles, the sound continuing to fill every void in Chris’ mind.

Chris can't help the laugh that escapes his lips, some of the anxiety and nerves fading as he settles back into his pillows.

“I could still beat you pal, even if you’re the one doing all this crazy shit on set.”

“What can I say, I’d missed playing with my knife, you know.” The other man teases.

Images flood back into Chris’ mind from the filming of the Winter Soldier almost a decade ago, seeing Sebastian gain confidence in himself and his capabilities as an actor.

“Look – Seb, I’m – I’m sorry. I just – I.” He stumbles, the feeling in his throat preventing him from being coherent.

“Chris, stop. You’ll get yourself worked up. Just breathe.” Sebastian replies calmly.

The line remains quite for several minutes as Chris breathes in time with the quiet sounds on the other end of the phone.

“Seb?” He all but whispers.

“I’m here Chris.”

“I thought you’d cut me off.” Chris laughs weakly, his chest finally feeling more free.

“I’d never do that.” The other man replies firmly.

Chris feels his shoulders sink as the anxiety continues to fade. “Thank you. So, whereabouts are you spending the holidays?”

The other man laughs at the awkwardness of his friend. “New York for now, I’ve been cleared to see my Mom and go back to my place for a while. Can’t say I’m really looking forward to be working in LA again, but you know, grateful for the work.”

“I saw you have a tree.” Is Chris’ reply. _God you’re so lame._ He thinks to himself as soon as he registers his response.

Sebastian chuckles. “Oh, yeah. It felt good you know, something normal. That probably sounds dumb.”

“No it doesn’t Seb. It looks beautiful.” He replies honestly, watching snow fall under the light outside the cabin, also beautiful.

_Just like you._

The muffled sound of bed covers being pulled up travels down the line, Chris picturing his friend also laying in bed.

“I tried my best. So are you seeing your family for Christmas?”

Too distracted at the thought of how it would feel _actually_ being in bed with the other man is unaware he’s being spoken to.

“Chris? You there man?” Seb asks once again, sounding amused.

“Sure, sure – sorry. Dodger was staring at me. What did you say?” He shakes his head, heat rising up his cheeks.

Seb laughs softly. “I said, are you seeing your family for the holidays?”

“Oh! No – Mom just wants us to all be safe that’s why Scott’s here. I think they’re concerned I’m going to turn into some lone lumberjack living in the woods or something.” He laughs weakly.

“I mean- you do kind of look like that, the shirts..” Seb teases.

“I love those shirts.” Chris mock pouts not that the other man can see.

“I know you do. And I’m glad you have Scott there. I’ve been thinking – and worrying, you know, Mackie too. We just – we didn’t think you wanted anyone around. Which is fine. I -we, just – missed you.” He hesitates.

Completely unaware of the almost slip up Chris feels his chest warm at the feeling, his friends still thought of him. “I’m sure you had fun though, you’ve got Mackie.”

“But not you.” The other man responds immediately, without thought.

Silence follows. Chris staring at his phone.

“Seb, I’m sorry for what happened. I didn’t mean to cut you off. Scott told me to not fuck this up, I didn’t realise until now how much I’ve missed -”

Sebastian interjects “We’re talking now aren’t we? That’s what matters pal.”

Chris smiles a little, not having felt so good in months. “Yeah, yeah we are. It just feels so – alien – to be talking to someone. I sound like such a hermit.” he shakes his head at his own incompetence. 

Seb chuckles, the sound continuing to fill the large void in Chris’ chest. “You are a little Chris.. But it’s part of you. I’m happy you’re where you are, it suits you, you know. I remember you talking about buying that place it’s been so long.”

“Wow – yeah, I guess it has, but I do, I love it. Maybe in the future when you’re not busy living that LA life you could visit?” He asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.

The other man sighs softly. “You know as much as I do that I don’t fit that lifestyle Chris, it’s just work, not my home. I love the simple things, I’d love to visit. Even if we have to shout at each other across the yard away from one another.”

Chris looks up hearing movement at his door. “I hope we wouldn’t. Look I’ve got to go beat the shit out of Scott on a game we’re playing but – would you still want to message me?”

“Of course I would, what was it you called yourself – a fanboy? I wouldn’t want you being let down.” he teases. 

Chris blushes. “Fine, fine. Maybe I’ve lost touch with the world a bit. I’d love to hear from you though, I mean it Seb I’m sorry its been this long, you deserve so much better.”

“Chris, it’s fine. I’m just glad to hear from you and that you’re okay, just because we all see things on social media and online doesn’t say how you really are. I see you, you’re still here.” Seb echoes exactly what Scott had said previously.

“I am, I just – maybe I lost myself a bit.” He shrugs to himself, emotion pooling in his chest.

“We all do. But I’m right here. Go and thrash Scott, I’ll still be here.” The other man replies softly, the only voice to ever calm Chris down.

And with that Chris ends the call. He may have not reconnected with everyone, but the one who mattered the most meant everything. He collects himself before heading back out into the lounge where he finds Scott singing along to whatever song he’d got playing in the headphones. He was a good brother, whether or not he’d heard any of the conversation didn’t matter. He just wanted his brother happy and that was enough reason for Chris to let him win.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! :)


End file.
